This was it. It was time to tell her. Half asleep I moved one foot in front of the other. My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt like I was going to throw up or melt on the floor into a puddle of fear.
What was she going to say? What is she going to think? How could I be telling my mother this right now? Is this real life? Is this really happening? Maybe I should wait and take ONE more test. After all the first 4 I took were negative. Maybe the past couple months of missing a few periods weren’t real. Maybe I’ll wake up.
Nope. Still awake. Still real. And still putting one foot in front of the other down the stairs. Into the back room I went.
“Mom, you said no matter what I did you would always love me right?”
She looked me in the eyes and I’ll never forget that conversation.
I still remember it like it was yesterday. It’s still as clear as glass.
I was apart of the statistic.
I was in a place I never would of dreamed I would EVER be in.
I was a teen who was pregnant. Where do I go from here? How could this be real? Now I have to tell dad. How is my whole family going to handle this? What am I going to do? What are WE going to do? Do we get married? Do we work this out?
I was 17. SEVENTEEN. I was looking at colleges. I wanted to cheer in college. I wanted to be a magazine editor. I wanted to live in a big city and make a lot of money and stay single and live my life for ME.
Throw a baby in the picture and that wasn’t about to happen. Throw those cheerleading dreams away and forget living in a big city.
I was freaking out. I just knew everyone around me was going to hate me and judge me and rip me apart. And well, as to be expected some people did.
Those days were some dark ones. I had lost my best friends a few months prior. I had stopped going to church on the regular. I had turned in a direction I didn’t need to turn in…or did I need to?
You see, I had my own “perfect” plan for my life. I had this vision of myself that was perfect and I just knew it was going to happen. I was going to make it happen. I was going to be something great. Little did I know that God had other plans for my life.
After a while my family came around to the idea of me being pregnant. They started to actually get excited as well as my boyfriend at the times family. Me and him decided we would get married. He was going into the military and I would follow him where he would go. Me and him had been together off and on through high school and our families jut knew we would end up together.
Being a pregnant teenager was extremely hard. In October of 2010 I was extremely pregnant and moved to elizabethtown Kentucky where my husband was stationed. I knew no one. I was 18 and I was terrified.
Having my daughter young was the most perfect thing that could of happened to me. The way I was going mentally at 17 was not leading me down good paths. God saved me through analeigh grace. I have always said that. It is still hard some days being a young mom. But, I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She is my little sunshine when my skies are grey. She lights up my world. She lights up the world around her and brings happiness and laughter where ever she goes.
Would I recommend to other teens that getting pregnant that young is a good idea? No.
Ladies, wait. Do YOU. Enjoy your life being young. I am not saying I haven’t enjoyed my life. But the trials bringing a little life into this world brings along are great for someone so young.
I decided when I got pregnant it was time to grow up. I knew that in order to be the mother My child needed me to be that I needed to grow up and be responsible. At 17 You are just a child yourself. Having to tell yourself you have to grow up now is a very hard thing to deal with.
Are you prepared to wake up all night every night for months to feed that precious baby? Are you ready to take on a job, multiple jobs if you must to provide for that precious child? Are you ready to buy formula, diapers, baby clothes, pacifiers, wipes and much much more things? Are you ready to give up so much to put that baby first? Are you ready to give up those college dreams?
Are you prepared for…wait for it…CHILDBIRTH?! Cause I can guarantee you aren’t. Are you ready to share your body for 9 months? Are you ready to accept the changes that are about to happen to your body? And dare I say it again… THE CHILDBIRTH?!
I am not trying to scare anyone out of having a baby. But, I am trying to scare you into taking your time and enjoying being a kid yourself. No need to rush growing up. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of time to pay bills and work every. Single. Day. To pay those bills. Stay young friends.
My baby is my blessing. And I wouldn’t change it for anything. But, I have a passion for encouraging teens to think a little more than I did. Be ready. Because if you’re not…it’s not fair to that baby. They can’t choose. They can’t pick.
I have a passion and a love for teen mothers. I want to wrap them all up in my arms and tell them that everything will be okay. Because although things seem hard, exhausting, and just impossible right now, it will get better.
One day you’ll be standing in her pre-k class watching as she waves, hugs you, tells you she loves you and runs off to her friends without a care in the world.
The trials of being a teen mother are great. But the reward of raising that baby is so much greater.
Keep holding on teen mommies. You got this.
Thanks for reading,