Behind the mask..

Behind the mask..


Hello all and happy Halloween!

Since we are gearing up for a whole bunch of people running around pretending to be someone they aren’t…it sparked a post idea in my brain.

People pretending to be someone they aren’t. I figured on Halloween this topic would be appropriate.

Look, I’m so guilty of this.

I’ve pretending to be someone I’m not for a really long time. Mostly to please those around me. It’s not a constant pretending. It’s just hiding certain things to please this person and that person. Something you all have probably noticed about me from some of my posts is that I am a MAJOR people pleaser. If someone isn’t happy with me than it eats me up from the inside out. It isn’t a completely healthy way to be. At all.

I was too scared to show my mistakes and show my flaws. I’ve always been the type to cover my story up. Twist it, change it and even lie about it to make myself look better. When in reality lying and covering up the truth is anything but looking good. I have no idea why I was always so concerned about looking perfect.

When you make a mistake…don’t cover it up. Don’t hide it. Don’t sweep it under the rug and goodness, don’t pretend it didn’t happen. I can’t stress enough that we are all human. We all make mistakes. I can guarantee that the mistake you just made…someone else has made it too.

Feeling alone is one of the worst feelings on the earth in my opinion…and when we mess up we feel like we are alone in our mess ups. Like we are the only person on planet earth to make this one mistake. I can promise you that you are not alone. The more you open up and are honest to people about your mistakes…the more you find out just how NOT alone you really are.

I was the PRO at covering up my mistakes or just putting them in the past and forgetting about them all together.

I was basically trying to be perfect for everyone around me. I was way too concerned about what those around me would think about me if they knew things I’d done in the past.

I’ve been through a lot in the short years of my life. There is no doubt about that. More than anyone would ever want to go through or experience. But! Just because someone might not agree or like what I’ve done…and I may even lose people along the road…but owning my story is something I’m slowly but surely learning how to do. Because, it is okay to share with others your mistakes…maybe they can learn from them and take away something that will help them to not make the mistakes you made. Sharing your true self could help someone. Try it.

I’m taking off the mask and stepping into the spotlight. I’m welcoming myself for who I am. I’m not going to be ashamed of who I am or what I’ve done. My past mistakes will not define who I am as a person.

And about losing people along the way…you are always going to lose people. If you hide yourself or not. You will always lose people along your path through life. It’s simply how it is. So, you should always be yourself.

Because as the saying goes, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

As children are ringing your doorbell tonight dressed as something they aren’t. Let that be a reminder to always be yourself. Except on Halloween. On Halloween always be something you aren’t.

Happy Halloween!!!

Thanks for reading,

Lex

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When life goes left…not right

When life goes left…not right

  
In life you don’t usually end up where you think you’ll be.

I know I’ve blogged on this topic before. But, I’m good at repeating myself at times. So, here goes.

I’m no where near where I thought I would be in life. When I was young i had no idea what I wanted to be when I “grew up”. As I got into high school I wanted to be a few different things. I went back and forth between a physical therapist or a magazine editor. 

I had big dreams of moving to New York City and interning at a magazine company. I had wanted to live in a high rise apartment that over looked the city. I wanted to be a career women. I didn’t want a family. I didn’t want kids. Maybe a boyfriend or something but nothing serious. I wanted to focus on myself and making a lot of money. I had an extremely selfish mindset. 

I also wanted to cheer in college. I wanted to be seen basically. I wanted the attention. As a lot of people do. 

This idea and dream didn’t change until I got pregnant. 

When I got pregnant I knew I wouldn’t be moving to New York. It slipped out of my fingers and died. I now had someone else besides myself to worry about. I knew there would be no magazine and there would be no high rise apartment over looking the city alone.

As I am writing this today I have relized I have turned my love for writing into something different. I am now a blogger. 

It’s so funny to me to look back and remember where I thought I would be. I was so set in my ways in high school and I just knew I was going to make it big time. I was going to make loads of money, drive a nice car, and make people know my name. It was going to sit on a magazine and people would know I did that.

These days though, that dream isn’t much of a dream anymore. I now have no care to live in a large city. In fact, I work right outside of Atlanta Georgia and I absolutely hate it. I hate the traffic and I can’t stand the amount of people that aren’t around me in a single day.

Don’t get me wrong. A trip to the city a few times a year is wonderful. I like having that option. But, I could never live in the heart of a large city. 

I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.

As I have shared before I am a Christian. And I do believe in my God. 

I believe my path was directed elsewhere. I believe I honestly wouldn’t of been happy. I don’t think I knew what I truly wanted at that time. And I thank the Lord that I am where I am today.

I thought I didn’t want children till I was a lot older. Now, I am so thankful I have had one young. So thankful.

Be thankful for where you are in life. Blessing in disguise are truly the best. You may not see them at the time. But later, you will. You’ll see the blessings that you couldn’t exactly see at the time.

Enjoy life. If your dream didn’t come when you wanted it too. It’s okay. Keep hustling and keep working extremely hard to get that dream. If that is what you truly want.

I’m working hard…and I mean extremely hard to become a better and well rounded blogger. I want to be the best I can be and more importantly I want to impact people with my words. I want to use my words to guide and help people the best I can.

I want to write something that means something to someone. I want people to relate to me. I want people to not nessasarly agree with me, but like me well enough to respect my opinions as well as me respecting theirs.

I just want to make an impact. Don’t we all though?

My dream now has changed. It may be along the same lines. It has changed drastically. I am here to impact people with my blog. I am here to change people’s lives with my words. And little by little I will get there. Even if it’s just a few I impact along the way. That’s a victory to me.

Every victory counts. 

So, get out there and chase your dreams but also accept where you are in this crazy world. You’ll never be here again. Every second is passing. There is no time to be unhappy with your life. If you don’t like where you are, change something. Work hard and build a life you love. Work though the kinks and stay strong when the going gets tough.

Live it up. Live it out. 

Thanks so much for reading,

Lex l

Leg leg leggings!!!

Leg leg leggings!!!

  
Alright. There are have been a million articles and people dissing leggings as pants. 

Here is a point of view from a extremely athletic women… Aka me! 

Like my thighs make up 98% of my body weight. 

Jeans? Yeah, unless they are extreme stretch…they aren’t going over these thunder thighs. And if they do, they will probably rip. I’m just saying. 

So, what’s my go to PANTS when I need a savior of all the PANTS?

LEGGINGS!

They are stretchy and I don’t have to worry about thunder and lightening ripping them at their seams. 

Throw some pockets on those things and Jean colored material and you’ve got jeggings. Hands down the best invention on earth. 

In fact, I’m currently sitting here in my adorable oversized pink sweater with lace, brown boots, and *GASP!* my black leggings! And I wore them to work and rocked them.

Not to mention the things they do to my leg muscles is magic I swear. I mean, do they really look that good in real life?! Or is it the leggings? Either way I am rolling with it! They are what I feel most comfortable in. 

So, ladies, if there is a style you rock that a lot of the world thinks is ridiculous…keep rocking that ridiculous style you love and adore so much. 

Rock it. Flaunt it. Own it.

I know I will continue to rock my leggings with my oversized sweaters for many more fall/winters to come. 

And when I get those funny stares at my leggings…I may just swish my hips a little harder for you ladies! So, watch out world! Lexie is rocking the leggings! 

Sorry, I needed a lighter post. 

Thanks for reading,

Lex

Opinions opinions opinions. I warned you.

Opinions opinions opinions. I warned you.

Hello all!

It was a busy weekend that is for sure. 

It was filled with coffee, game of thrones, corn maze, building up my garage gym, hot tea, and front porch sitting. 

I’d say that sums up one hell of an awesome weekend.

I’m currently working on a few blog posts but they aren’t where I would like them to be yet. 

I do however have a subject I really want to blog on.

I like to blog about my opinion of things that are happening in the news.

So, let’s talk about how Caitlyn Jenner has become “women of the year” by glamour magazine.

First, this is ridiculous because “Caitlyn” is not a women.

I read an article when things came out about Bruce becoming a women. I’ve wanted to make a post but just wasn’t ready until now. Anyways, the article that I had read made a great point..

Bruce Jenner isn’t a women. 

Now, I am not bashing transgendars. I can’t imagine how that must feel because I’ve never been in that position. Do I believe you can be born a women in a mans body? No, I don’t believe that. I believe if you were born with a penis than you are in fact a man..and if you were born with a Vagina than in fact you are a women.

Does Caitlyn bleed for a week straight once a month? No. Does she have the ability to go into one of the most painful things in life and that is labor? No. 

You know why? Because she isn’t a female.. 

I’ve posted before in one of my other blog posts about my views. So, if you’ve been following along you know I’m not a supporter of certain things. I don’t judge. But! I also have my own opinion. And yes, I will share it. 

I’m not judging Caitlyn by any means. I’m not judging anyone in the transgender community.

I do however think that the title of “women of the year” should be given to, in fact, a women.

I know, I know. The world today is changing. It’s a different place. Things are more accepted, clearly. That does not mean I have to believe in it or agree. I will state my opinions. I will share them. I will not however be rude to anyone who doesn’t share in my opinions as I’ve said a million times and I’ll say it many, many more. I love sharing opinions. 

Here’s another opinion for you all…I personally think it’s offensive to women. Again, MY opinion. Share it with me or not. My blog, not yours. 

I hate stepping on toes. Hate it. But I really wanted to put my opinion on this matter out there. I just…I almost don’t even know what to think. I’m so very mind blown. But, I have to remember this is media. Media receives attention. Putting “her” as women of the year obviously received huge attention. That’s what the world is about right? Or making a change or a difference. I bet glamour blew up. Bravo glamour for making your money. 

Let’s remember…they put stuff on there that will sell, that will stir stuff up. I know, because well, I’m a writer. You want stuff that will stir a little drama. You want something juicy. Trust me, I get it. I do.

So, my opinion? I’m not going to sit back and worry about a magazine trying to make money. I’m glad Caitlyn can finally feel good in her own skin. And I’m sure she has made a few pretty pennies as well.

With all that being said…now that I have gone off on a matter that 95%(or more) of humans have gone off about…I’m ending my rant/random blog post on something I really really couldn’t care less about(ha ha!)

Did I get your blood pressure up a bit? Did I have you disagreeing? Or even agreeing with me? Stir up some things every now and again. It works. 😉

So, congrats to the first male(or female? Penis or vagina?) to win “women of the year” award.

On another completely different note….

My home gym is coming along great!

A little side note to end this perfectly opinionated rant<3 

Back to your regular programming.

Thanks for reading,

Lex

Did she really?

Did she really?

  
I had an interesting run in with many people via Facebook last night.

Last night I found the “other” folder on my Facebook messenger. You know, the one where it puts messages from people you don’t know or don’t have any mutual friends with.

Well, there were some extremely interesting messages that were tucked away in there. Some I wish I had seen earlier. Some I feel so protected over by not seeing them when they were sent.

There was an ex girlfriend of my ex husband,another ex of a previous ex of mine(that is so confusing I know), some random guy telling me that my was boyfriend was screwing his girlfriend and went to go on ranting for message after message, and a few random people who wrote me about my current situation(random account created by one person trying to look like someone else), some just plain random people saying hey, and someone telling me they follow me on Instagram and I’m incredibly inspirational with my weight loss and fitness journey.

Crazy right?

It made me stop and think as I replied to a few of these people this morning. I was just thinking about the different stages in life and how things can drastically change in just a few short years. These people who I didn’t exactly like when they wrote me…I was able to hold a few conversations with a few of them this morning. I was thinking about when I knew these people back then…I was a completely different person.

I’ve been constantly changing and learning through so many different experiences. My life has been anything but boring. I’ve shared a short version of my story with you all and I’m sure in just the few words I wrote about it I had a few gaping mouths.

This blog post is another to the younger generation.

Relationships.

NOW! I’m pretty much the LAST person who should be giving any kind of relationship advice. But, I’ve been in enough(too many) to know what’s up out there in the real world.

Dating is fun right? Crushes are fun right? 

Right! They are so fun!

But honestly I don’t want to talk about dating or crushes or any of the lovey dicey ewwie gewwie stuff.

I’ve been through not one but TWO failed marriages.

Some of you are probably like NEXT BLOG POST PLEASE. Or this girl is crazy pants! Or why in the world would anyone take relationship advice from you?! 

Well, I’ve been there. I’ve been there numerous times and failed.

The one conclusion I have come to… The very one thing I needed to change.

•Do not..I repeat…do not put your happiness in someone else.

This puts the relationship on a fast track to failure real quick.

Some of you are probably like yeah okay…but they make me happy? 

Great. I’m extremely glad they make you happy. But, what I am saying is… Do not let them be the only thing that makes you happy. Do not in trust your happiness in them alone.

You have to be okay without this person. You have to be able to function when they aren’t around. You just do.

Another important point…

Which to most normal people this is a real easy one. But let me tell you…it is easy to say…but to act on I have failed. 

Stay faithful

For your dang self and for those surrounding you. Just do it. 

Again, more head shaking I’m sure. I’m sure people are thinking this point is all too obvious. It’s not though. It should be. But it isn’t. 

Relationships are extremely hard work. Marriage is extremely hard work. (And we wonder why I’ve been married twice..)

Coming from someone who has been through two divorces.

Two very painful and two totally different situations. 

I was raised in a home where you work it out. You don’t get divorced. I’m not so sure on that point anymore. My vision is foggy from expirience on that subject. It’s like sex before marriage. Once you do it and realize how easy it is to do…it happens multiple times and such..

I’m being completely real here. I’m being raw and honest with my followers. 

I’m here to put the things I’ve been through out there in hopes that maybe, just maybe I am making someone feel like they aren’t alone in their struggles. 

I’m human. I’ve messed up time and dang time again. I will continue to mess up and I will continue to build my story. I will continue to share my story despite what some may think of me. I will take the chance and share what I have to say. 

I’ve said this and I will say it again. I’ve been judged in the past and I will get judged and continue to be judged by people. If you don’t like what I share in my blog…don’t read it. Simple as that. 
I’ve made some mistakes to get where I am. But where I am is in happiness. So, I guess in the end everything that led up to this point was worth the troubles. 
Sure, some things that I’ve learned I wish I had known before I made some of the mistakes in my life. But, like the old saying says, “It is what it is.

What you can do in life is learn from your mistakes and move on. You pack up, pick up, and move right on along.

That’s the best you can do.

Man, I honestly wasn’t sure where I was going with this post. It took an odd turn. Relationships aren’t something I often give much advice over. All I can share is stuff I have personally experienced. Which isn’t the greatest in life. But, I know the mistakes I have made. And I can share them so others can learn from me as well. Use me as an example or something. 

I’m going to stop going on and on now.

Thanks for reading today’s ramblings,

Lex 

That image thing again…

That image thing again…

hello all.

I’m about to put another blog out there on one of my most favorite subjects again. Self image and how you view yourself.

I was scanning through my Facebook feed this morning when this ad popped up. 

It showed a bunch of before and after photos of girls before and after they were photoshopped. It exclaimed that I too could have a photoshopped look! Oh my! “How perfect” I thought(not). 

I clicked the link and downloaded the app. I wanted to try it before I started to knock something I knew nothing about. 

I downloaded it and opened it. I played around with a few pictures. I was shocked at the features this app presented. 

You can change your cheek bones, put make up on yourself, change the length and style of your eye lashes, change the shape of your brows, SHAPE YOUR NOSE…and my all time favorite…make you face “thinner”! YAY(said with complete sarcasm).

The app is called “perfect365” 

I admit it was totally fun to play around with. But, in reality it’s a sick and twisted app. It allows you to lie about what you look like to social media. It allows you to change your already perfect face. You can even erase blemishes. I mean come on. We are human. We have pimples. Crap happens. 

If you want to use an app to make yourself physically into something you aren’t. That’s fine. It’s just mind blowing wanting to change things about your already perfect features. 

Coming from someone who use to have major self image issues and sometimes still do…seeing an almost perfect women and comparing myself to them only to find out that they don’t even look like that…it creates a false idea that you can be perfect…then people like me try so hard to look a certain way when in reality you can’t do what an app can do. 

I admit I do use filters on my photos at times. Usually to lighten up photos that would be otherwise too dark. Other than that I don’t like messing with my pictures. I don’t want to create a false image of myself in any way shape or form. That means the inside and the out. That’s why I am extremely open to sharing my mistakes and owning up to what I’ve done wrong.

Sure, some might think this is extremely silly of me…to be so passionate about an app. But as I said before..I was once that super self conscious girl looking at all the photoshopped picture perfect petiole who were fake.

I want real beauty. I want to see beautiful women post pictures even when they have a few pimples or blemishes on their skin. I want to see people who aren’t perfect and aren’t afraid to show that they aren’t. 

I want to see REAL women with REAL life problems. Moms with messy hair and no make up. Girls who don’t have to cake the make up on to feel free and beautiful.

This is all my opinion. I was mind blown when this app popped up. You can make yourself look like someone completely different. Why would you want to do that when you could just be simply you? I get it to a point. Because I was there in wanting so badly to change my appearance.

I wanted to be thinner…I wanted a different shape face. I wanted longer legs and skinner arms and smaller shoulders. I wanted different hair. I wanted a flatter tummy. I wanted to feel beautiful. Over time I have found that confidence. I haven’t found it through worldly things, or men, or even other women or friends. I have had to learn to find it through myself. I learned I couldn’t love myself and find the beauty in myself through others. No other person could satisfy that hunger to feel beautiful.

No human words made me feel pretty. I had to discover it myself through myself. 

So take a step back. And young girls…you’re beautiful. And finding that beauty can be a journey sometimes. But believe in your journey and you will find it. And when you do it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world. To be truly comfortable in your own skin is the best feeling in this earth.

Here is the before and after picture that I played with on that ridiculous app…

  
Thanks for reading, 

Lex

Role reversal

Role reversal

  
In a growing world where roles are becoming less and less clear…

In our grandparents and great grandparents and even some of our parents days…men were men and women were women. In everyday life women had their roles and men had their roles.

It’s just how it was. Men worked and brought home the money to take care of the family. Men were the head of the household and women stayed home and took care of the home, watched the children and cooked.

In today’s world that is a rarity. If you don’t believe in roles and such that’s great too. This post is in no way against you. I’m just throwing that out there. This is my own opinion that I’m am entitled to. 

I had a friend suggest this subject(thank you by the way..because I’ve been dying on the inside all day long).

She also threw out there if women should pick up the tab on the first date..and not only the first date but any dates.

Here’s my thing. I don’t usually personally pick up the tab. In fact personally I never have on “dates”. If a man made me pay for us both on the first date I just wouldn’t really give him a second thought. I guess that’s just how I was raised. Maybe I’m a little old school but I believe that’s the man job.

If you’re into that then by all means that’s great. Personally, I’m not. And it’s not that I don’t want to Pay for anything. If we have been dating a while…I would love to help out. I will offser to stop on the way home from work and pick up food or even stop, buy food, and go home and cook. I work, therefore I can contribute. 

I believe if I’m in a relationship with someone and I am working. I’ll help. I’ll help with bills. I will pay for as much as I can and even help save money. That’s who I am and how I am. I help where I can. 

Now, if I’m helping with money and I’m working full time as well. I expect the person I am dating to help around the house. Help keep it clean and tidy. 

If I’m not working and the person I’m in a relationship is the only one working..my sole job is to cook, clean, and take care of the house. 

So, yes, I do believe in roles. 

In a society where genders are fading…I fully believe in male and female. If you believe that you were born a female in a males body…that’s you…not me. I don’t have to believe or have the same beliefs as everyone in th world. That’s what makes America great. FREEDOM. I have the freedom to believe what I wish. I believe a female is a female and a male is a male. 

Since I believe in roles..Does this make women any less equal to men? No way.

I believe just as much that a man can be a stay at home dad as well. So, the same goes for stay at home men as well. Men, if you stay at home and don’t work…you should contribute more to keeping the house clean and cooking and such. That’s again, my opinion. I do believe roles can be reversed. As I said, I believe in stay at home dads too. 

I do however love when a man pays for dates, opens doors, and holds my hand. 

Maybe I’m old fashion. I love the idea of stay at home mother and working husband. 

I love the idea of a man taking care of the family and the wife taking care of the husband, house, and children. 

I just love the old fashion “roles” of men and women. I just do. At the same time I love how this day and age allows me to be an independent women as well.

I just do. 

I do also like the way women are equal to men in the world these days. 

I would call what I believe in a remix belief of roles. Because I believe in the roles but I love the fact that women are equal to men.

I love the opportunities women have these days. I love how women can be career women and be successful without a man. I love that they can be stay at home moms and respected and loved and supported by their men. I love how we as women have such great opportunities in today’s world in the United States. 

Some places are not so lucky. And I refuse to take that for granted.

So, there you have it folks. My take on male/female roles these days. 

Thanks for reading,

Lex