I have MOVED!

I have MOVED!

Hello dear readers!

I have some pretty grand and exciting news! I have moved to a new domain! I have a host now and I am moving on up! (ha ha).

My new website is lifeaslex.org (Link at bottom of page)

Please go over to it and follow my new blog and check out my very first post on it!

I am very excited to announce this news. I am so sad however to announce that I wasn’t able to export all of my information and what not. So, I will have to start over new. Check it out!

I can’t wait to see what the future holds!

http://Lifeaslex.org

Thanks for reading,

Lex

Into the depths we go..

Into the depths we go..

  
As the media coverage of Lamar Odom becomes older and older news with each passing day../I wanted to bring it back in the spot light.

Not nessasarly Mr. Odom himself, but his sickness.

You see, Mr. Odom is an addict. He has issues. Clearly. 

But, don’t we all? 

Are any of us perfect? No.

Anyways, the situation with Lamar made me personally think. It hit me harder than most celeb news. In fact, half the time I don’t really pay attention to the happenings of the rich and famous. I just don’t care to pay attention much to them.

This though, this hit me. It showed me again that these people are human and have real life problems. It reminded me that money doesn’t fix mental or personal issues. In fact, it may even cause more. 

I sit and think at times how nice it must be to make so much money. Then again no matter how much you make…us as humans tend to live life styles beyond our means. No matter how much we make. We tend to always want more.

On another note. Addiction.

How sad the whole situation was to me. I payed attention to it because I feel for anyone who suffers with mental issues and drug issues. Rich or poor. It doesn’t matter. An issue is an issue. And I know how torturing a mental illness is and how it taunts you from the inside out.

I saw so many people making jokes and laughing. Why? A few people I saw saying “when you have that much money and that much talent why would you do that?”

Well, it’s easy to ask why when we aren’t in someone’s shoes. We don’t know what’s going on inside his head or even in his personal life. Look, rich people struggle too. Poor people struggle. Middle class struggles. We all struggle. We are all human. No matter your race or even how much money and talent you have.

Sure, it’s easy for us people who aren’t that talented making millions to sit back and point fingers and say “if I had that money and talent I would never do that.”. But, we aren’t there. We aren’t him. We aren’t her. We aren’t them.

Are you perfect? No? Okay, then it really isn’t your place to judge. In fact, it’s not any of our place to judge. Until we have all lived in one another’s shoes…we have no right to judge anyone.

You never know the struggle of someone else’s heart. 

You never know the pain or even the happiness.

You don’t know.

I am very sensitive to judgement. I mean, who actually likes to be judged? 

I want to be cautious more often on this. 

I wanted to wait until it all died down a little more before creating and posting this post.

With some of my posts my intent is to stir the pot a little bit. To cause people to think in the moment of the happenings. But, with this one I didn’t really want to do that.

I wanted to give it time to cool off a bit. Let people clear their minds a bit. 

I was rather flustered at the fact of people making fun of the situation. I actually wrote a whole different blog post the day that everything happened. I was upset and angry with those who were making fun of Lamar.  Not that I am defending him or what he has done. Because I am not. At all. But, I am respecting the fact that he is human despite being rich and famous. 

I have issues as well. I have some mental issues…depression and anxiety. Big time. There are times where my brain goes to some crazy places. It goes and wonders. So, I get the going crazy inside part. I don’t understand the addiction to drugs because I have never tried drugs. That has always been something that is extremely easy for me to say no to. But, I also know depression, anxiety and other worldly issues can push humans to points we don’t want to be and don’t know how we got there in the first place or how anyone can get to those places. 

Those aren’t excuses. They are real and true. It happens. 

I try to remind myself often that I am human, he is human, she is human, they are human. We as humans mess up in big ways sometimes. It’s life. We must learn from our mistakes and better ourself through them. If we don’t learn from them than we will never grow. 

So, here’s to being human. Here is to messing up(because we all will), here is to forgiveness, here is to growth and last but certainly not least, here is to loving.

  
Thanks for reading,

Lex 

When life goes left…not right

When life goes left…not right

  
In life you don’t usually end up where you think you’ll be.

I know I’ve blogged on this topic before. But, I’m good at repeating myself at times. So, here goes.

I’m no where near where I thought I would be in life. When I was young i had no idea what I wanted to be when I “grew up”. As I got into high school I wanted to be a few different things. I went back and forth between a physical therapist or a magazine editor. 

I had big dreams of moving to New York City and interning at a magazine company. I had wanted to live in a high rise apartment that over looked the city. I wanted to be a career women. I didn’t want a family. I didn’t want kids. Maybe a boyfriend or something but nothing serious. I wanted to focus on myself and making a lot of money. I had an extremely selfish mindset. 

I also wanted to cheer in college. I wanted to be seen basically. I wanted the attention. As a lot of people do. 

This idea and dream didn’t change until I got pregnant. 

When I got pregnant I knew I wouldn’t be moving to New York. It slipped out of my fingers and died. I now had someone else besides myself to worry about. I knew there would be no magazine and there would be no high rise apartment over looking the city alone.

As I am writing this today I have relized I have turned my love for writing into something different. I am now a blogger. 

It’s so funny to me to look back and remember where I thought I would be. I was so set in my ways in high school and I just knew I was going to make it big time. I was going to make loads of money, drive a nice car, and make people know my name. It was going to sit on a magazine and people would know I did that.

These days though, that dream isn’t much of a dream anymore. I now have no care to live in a large city. In fact, I work right outside of Atlanta Georgia and I absolutely hate it. I hate the traffic and I can’t stand the amount of people that aren’t around me in a single day.

Don’t get me wrong. A trip to the city a few times a year is wonderful. I like having that option. But, I could never live in the heart of a large city. 

I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.

As I have shared before I am a Christian. And I do believe in my God. 

I believe my path was directed elsewhere. I believe I honestly wouldn’t of been happy. I don’t think I knew what I truly wanted at that time. And I thank the Lord that I am where I am today.

I thought I didn’t want children till I was a lot older. Now, I am so thankful I have had one young. So thankful.

Be thankful for where you are in life. Blessing in disguise are truly the best. You may not see them at the time. But later, you will. You’ll see the blessings that you couldn’t exactly see at the time.

Enjoy life. If your dream didn’t come when you wanted it too. It’s okay. Keep hustling and keep working extremely hard to get that dream. If that is what you truly want.

I’m working hard…and I mean extremely hard to become a better and well rounded blogger. I want to be the best I can be and more importantly I want to impact people with my words. I want to use my words to guide and help people the best I can.

I want to write something that means something to someone. I want people to relate to me. I want people to not nessasarly agree with me, but like me well enough to respect my opinions as well as me respecting theirs.

I just want to make an impact. Don’t we all though?

My dream now has changed. It may be along the same lines. It has changed drastically. I am here to impact people with my blog. I am here to change people’s lives with my words. And little by little I will get there. Even if it’s just a few I impact along the way. That’s a victory to me.

Every victory counts. 

So, get out there and chase your dreams but also accept where you are in this crazy world. You’ll never be here again. Every second is passing. There is no time to be unhappy with your life. If you don’t like where you are, change something. Work hard and build a life you love. Work though the kinks and stay strong when the going gets tough.

Live it up. Live it out. 

Thanks so much for reading,

Lex l

Did she really?

Did she really?

  
I had an interesting run in with many people via Facebook last night.

Last night I found the “other” folder on my Facebook messenger. You know, the one where it puts messages from people you don’t know or don’t have any mutual friends with.

Well, there were some extremely interesting messages that were tucked away in there. Some I wish I had seen earlier. Some I feel so protected over by not seeing them when they were sent.

There was an ex girlfriend of my ex husband,another ex of a previous ex of mine(that is so confusing I know), some random guy telling me that my was boyfriend was screwing his girlfriend and went to go on ranting for message after message, and a few random people who wrote me about my current situation(random account created by one person trying to look like someone else), some just plain random people saying hey, and someone telling me they follow me on Instagram and I’m incredibly inspirational with my weight loss and fitness journey.

Crazy right?

It made me stop and think as I replied to a few of these people this morning. I was just thinking about the different stages in life and how things can drastically change in just a few short years. These people who I didn’t exactly like when they wrote me…I was able to hold a few conversations with a few of them this morning. I was thinking about when I knew these people back then…I was a completely different person.

I’ve been constantly changing and learning through so many different experiences. My life has been anything but boring. I’ve shared a short version of my story with you all and I’m sure in just the few words I wrote about it I had a few gaping mouths.

This blog post is another to the younger generation.

Relationships.

NOW! I’m pretty much the LAST person who should be giving any kind of relationship advice. But, I’ve been in enough(too many) to know what’s up out there in the real world.

Dating is fun right? Crushes are fun right? 

Right! They are so fun!

But honestly I don’t want to talk about dating or crushes or any of the lovey dicey ewwie gewwie stuff.

I’ve been through not one but TWO failed marriages.

Some of you are probably like NEXT BLOG POST PLEASE. Or this girl is crazy pants! Or why in the world would anyone take relationship advice from you?! 

Well, I’ve been there. I’ve been there numerous times and failed.

The one conclusion I have come to… The very one thing I needed to change.

•Do not..I repeat…do not put your happiness in someone else.

This puts the relationship on a fast track to failure real quick.

Some of you are probably like yeah okay…but they make me happy? 

Great. I’m extremely glad they make you happy. But, what I am saying is… Do not let them be the only thing that makes you happy. Do not in trust your happiness in them alone.

You have to be okay without this person. You have to be able to function when they aren’t around. You just do.

Another important point…

Which to most normal people this is a real easy one. But let me tell you…it is easy to say…but to act on I have failed. 

Stay faithful

For your dang self and for those surrounding you. Just do it. 

Again, more head shaking I’m sure. I’m sure people are thinking this point is all too obvious. It’s not though. It should be. But it isn’t. 

Relationships are extremely hard work. Marriage is extremely hard work. (And we wonder why I’ve been married twice..)

Coming from someone who has been through two divorces.

Two very painful and two totally different situations. 

I was raised in a home where you work it out. You don’t get divorced. I’m not so sure on that point anymore. My vision is foggy from expirience on that subject. It’s like sex before marriage. Once you do it and realize how easy it is to do…it happens multiple times and such..

I’m being completely real here. I’m being raw and honest with my followers. 

I’m here to put the things I’ve been through out there in hopes that maybe, just maybe I am making someone feel like they aren’t alone in their struggles. 

I’m human. I’ve messed up time and dang time again. I will continue to mess up and I will continue to build my story. I will continue to share my story despite what some may think of me. I will take the chance and share what I have to say. 

I’ve said this and I will say it again. I’ve been judged in the past and I will get judged and continue to be judged by people. If you don’t like what I share in my blog…don’t read it. Simple as that. 
I’ve made some mistakes to get where I am. But where I am is in happiness. So, I guess in the end everything that led up to this point was worth the troubles. 
Sure, some things that I’ve learned I wish I had known before I made some of the mistakes in my life. But, like the old saying says, “It is what it is.

What you can do in life is learn from your mistakes and move on. You pack up, pick up, and move right on along.

That’s the best you can do.

Man, I honestly wasn’t sure where I was going with this post. It took an odd turn. Relationships aren’t something I often give much advice over. All I can share is stuff I have personally experienced. Which isn’t the greatest in life. But, I know the mistakes I have made. And I can share them so others can learn from me as well. Use me as an example or something. 

I’m going to stop going on and on now.

Thanks for reading today’s ramblings,

Lex 

That image thing again…

That image thing again…

hello all.

I’m about to put another blog out there on one of my most favorite subjects again. Self image and how you view yourself.

I was scanning through my Facebook feed this morning when this ad popped up. 

It showed a bunch of before and after photos of girls before and after they were photoshopped. It exclaimed that I too could have a photoshopped look! Oh my! “How perfect” I thought(not). 

I clicked the link and downloaded the app. I wanted to try it before I started to knock something I knew nothing about. 

I downloaded it and opened it. I played around with a few pictures. I was shocked at the features this app presented. 

You can change your cheek bones, put make up on yourself, change the length and style of your eye lashes, change the shape of your brows, SHAPE YOUR NOSE…and my all time favorite…make you face “thinner”! YAY(said with complete sarcasm).

The app is called “perfect365” 

I admit it was totally fun to play around with. But, in reality it’s a sick and twisted app. It allows you to lie about what you look like to social media. It allows you to change your already perfect face. You can even erase blemishes. I mean come on. We are human. We have pimples. Crap happens. 

If you want to use an app to make yourself physically into something you aren’t. That’s fine. It’s just mind blowing wanting to change things about your already perfect features. 

Coming from someone who use to have major self image issues and sometimes still do…seeing an almost perfect women and comparing myself to them only to find out that they don’t even look like that…it creates a false idea that you can be perfect…then people like me try so hard to look a certain way when in reality you can’t do what an app can do. 

I admit I do use filters on my photos at times. Usually to lighten up photos that would be otherwise too dark. Other than that I don’t like messing with my pictures. I don’t want to create a false image of myself in any way shape or form. That means the inside and the out. That’s why I am extremely open to sharing my mistakes and owning up to what I’ve done wrong.

Sure, some might think this is extremely silly of me…to be so passionate about an app. But as I said before..I was once that super self conscious girl looking at all the photoshopped picture perfect petiole who were fake.

I want real beauty. I want to see beautiful women post pictures even when they have a few pimples or blemishes on their skin. I want to see people who aren’t perfect and aren’t afraid to show that they aren’t. 

I want to see REAL women with REAL life problems. Moms with messy hair and no make up. Girls who don’t have to cake the make up on to feel free and beautiful.

This is all my opinion. I was mind blown when this app popped up. You can make yourself look like someone completely different. Why would you want to do that when you could just be simply you? I get it to a point. Because I was there in wanting so badly to change my appearance.

I wanted to be thinner…I wanted a different shape face. I wanted longer legs and skinner arms and smaller shoulders. I wanted different hair. I wanted a flatter tummy. I wanted to feel beautiful. Over time I have found that confidence. I haven’t found it through worldly things, or men, or even other women or friends. I have had to learn to find it through myself. I learned I couldn’t love myself and find the beauty in myself through others. No other person could satisfy that hunger to feel beautiful.

No human words made me feel pretty. I had to discover it myself through myself. 

So take a step back. And young girls…you’re beautiful. And finding that beauty can be a journey sometimes. But believe in your journey and you will find it. And when you do it’s the most wonderful feeling in the world. To be truly comfortable in your own skin is the best feeling in this earth.

Here is the before and after picture that I played with on that ridiculous app…

  
Thanks for reading, 

Lex

Refreshing and new energy. Wake up new.

Refreshing and new energy. Wake up new.

  

 
Letting go is like getting in the car for a long drive to no where. You have no clue where you’re going or exactly when you’ll get there. But, it’s an adventure. It’s trusting yourself and your abilities to get where you’re going.
All my life I have done everything possible to keep people in my life. Even if it meant breaking my own back in the process to keep them around. 

I’ve always held on too tightly to friendships and relationships. I am not sure what has made me this way. I don’t know why it is the way I’ve always been. But, it is.

I have never been able to let go. I hold on and I hold on extremely tight. I was always taught you fight for a relationship no matter who it is. I guess I never learned or connected in my mind that if a friendship or relationship is highly toxic to your life…that it is okay to let it go. 

In letting go of a lot of things and people I have actually found a little bit more of myself. Life is a growing process. I believe that until the day you die you are constantly learning new things about yourself. I think that’s awesome.

I think in letting go there is major growth. In so many ways. It could be a memory you let go of, a friendship, a relationship, a past occurrence…it could be a list of things. It could be so many things.

Letting go may happen swiftly for some and it could be a process for some. For me, it’s a process. I feel everything in my life is a process for me. Letting go takes time. It is a process that goes on inside my mind. A letting go process I guess you could say. I don’t let go easily as I said at the beginning of this post.

I grow strong attachments to things and people. So, it makes it even harder on me. I care strongly and love hard. It’s both a blessing and a downfall at times.

There are times where letting go is just down right sucky. You just don’t want to let go. You want to squeeze and hold on as tight as possible. Let me let you in on a little secret that’s not so secret. The tighter you squeeze the worse it gets(usually). Or in my case that is usually how it works.

Here in the past few months I’ve had to let go of some close people. Some of the dearest and closest people to me. I’ve had to loosen my grip and just back off. 

Has it been painful? Oh the most painful times of my life. Has it been okay? Yes, it has. I’m here. I’m living. I’m letting go. I’m healing and I pray to God they are as well.

I want to teach my dear daughter that letting go is okay. I want her to know that she doesn’t have to hold on tightly. That it will be okay. 

I’ve seen friends, family, and people I don’t even know…go through so many situations where I wished they would of let go a lot earlier than they did. From the inside out is so different than the outside looking in. The outside looking in you can see clearly and from the inside looking out you have a completely different view. 

It’s easy on the outside to say “let go” and “move on”. When you’re on the inside those words hurt and it’s hard to see clearly. 

When you step back and take a deep breath and realize that if you leave the situation it will be okay. Then it makes it much much easier to let go. When you’re starting the process of letting go it can feel like you’re dying. It’s almost suffocating. When you get through that stage of th process it’s almost freeing. When you find your breath again it is completely worth it and refreshing. 

Wow, you can breathe again. 

It’s almost as if you wake up and feel refreshed. It’s great.

So, let go of what’s holding you back and making you unhappy. Life is way too short to hold on to something that isn’t worth your time and energy. And there are a lot of things in life not worth giving time and energy too.

Thanks for reading,

Lex

Is it messy in here? 

Is it messy in here? 

Embrace the glorious mess that you are.” Elizabeth Gilbert

I have never heard it spoken so perfectly before.

The mess that you are. You are a mess. I don’t really care who or what you are. You are a mess. We all are.

I for one am thankful I am not the only mess out there. I’m thankful and take comforte in knowing that I’m not alone.

It use to stress me out about the mess that I am. I use to stress over not being perfect. I saw other girls around me who seemed to be so perfect. They seemed to completely have their stuff together. Oh, I was so wrong.

The more people I get to know and talk to in my life the more I learn people aren’t perfect. Not a single one of us.

Lately I have learned the more straight forward and open I am about myself and my flaws…the more others are open to sharing their mistakes or flaws with me.

Breaking the ice on imperfections didn’t use to happen with me. I was closed off. I didn’t allow people to see my flaws. I wanted to be viewed as perfect and flawless. 

I am so thankful I have let that go. I’m so glad I’ve gotten to see so many people’s hearts from breaking the ice on my mistakes. My flaws have helped me to grow closer to others. 

There is something particularly beautiful about exposing that most fragile part of yourself. When you expose your flaws you are trusting the other person or people to accept you for them.

Sure, some may and there are those that just can’t handle it. And that is okay. We aren’t meant to carry every single person along with us on our ride through life. That would honestly be exhausting. 

Being flawed isn’t a bad thing. It’s called being human. It happens. 

I’m not saying blow your flaws off. But, embrace them. They are apart of who you are. They are a huge part of your life story. Own them. Don’t hide them. Don’t run away from them. Don’t sweep them under the rug. That will do nothing but extreme damage. I promise.

Coming from someone who use to do anything but own my mistakes and my flaws. I use to run very far away from them. 

Guess what? No matter how far you run away, they follow. They will always be there. Hiding them away will pain you. Will tear you apart.

It’s okay to be human. We are literally all there. 

Accept yourself for who you are. How do you expect others to accept you when you can’t accept yourself? 

I promise it will all be okay. I’m in a place I never in my wildest nightmares thought I would be. But, I’m also in a place of acceptance and total awe of the beauty of life around me. I’m learning to embrace situations. I’m learning to accept myself and no longer hide anything from those around me. This is my story. This is me. My mistakes help mold my story sure, but they do NOT mold me as a person. Thank goodness. Because I’ve made some ugly mistakes. 

Have you made some ugly mistakes too? It’ll be alright. I promise. 

It will all be okay. You are beautiful despite the mess. And it is okay to know and own your flawed beauty.

Some people say to be flawless… I say to be beautifully flawed. 

After all, your story is beautiful. 

  
Thanks for reading,

Lex