Last night I found the “other” folder on my Facebook messenger. You know, the one where it puts messages from people you don’t know or don’t have any mutual friends with.
Well, there were some extremely interesting messages that were tucked away in there. Some I wish I had seen earlier. Some I feel so protected over by not seeing them when they were sent.
There was an ex girlfriend of my ex husband,another ex of a previous ex of mine(that is so confusing I know), some random guy telling me that my was boyfriend was screwing his girlfriend and went to go on ranting for message after message, and a few random people who wrote me about my current situation(random account created by one person trying to look like someone else), some just plain random people saying hey, and someone telling me they follow me on Instagram and I’m incredibly inspirational with my weight loss and fitness journey.
It made me stop and think as I replied to a few of these people this morning. I was just thinking about the different stages in life and how things can drastically change in just a few short years. These people who I didn’t exactly like when they wrote me…I was able to hold a few conversations with a few of them this morning. I was thinking about when I knew these people back then…I was a completely different person.
I’ve been constantly changing and learning through so many different experiences. My life has been anything but boring. I’ve shared a short version of my story with you all and I’m sure in just the few words I wrote about it I had a few gaping mouths.
This blog post is another to the younger generation.
NOW! I’m pretty much the LAST person who should be giving any kind of relationship advice. But, I’ve been in enough(too many) to know what’s up out there in the real world.
Dating is fun right? Crushes are fun right?
Right! They are so fun!
But honestly I don’t want to talk about dating or crushes or any of the lovey dicey ewwie gewwie stuff.
I’ve been through not one but TWO failed marriages.
Some of you are probably like NEXT BLOG POST PLEASE. Or this girl is crazy pants! Or why in the world would anyone take relationship advice from you?!
Well, I’ve been there. I’ve been there numerous times and failed.
The one conclusion I have come to… The very one thing I needed to change.
•Do not..I repeat…do not put your happiness in someone else.
This puts the relationship on a fast track to failure real quick.
Some of you are probably like yeah okay…but they make me happy?
Great. I’m extremely glad they make you happy. But, what I am saying is… Do not let them be the only thing that makes you happy. Do not in trust your happiness in them alone.
You have to be okay without this person. You have to be able to function when they aren’t around. You just do.
Another important point…
Which to most normal people this is a real easy one. But let me tell you…it is easy to say…but to act on I have failed.
For your dang self and for those surrounding you. Just do it.
Again, more head shaking I’m sure. I’m sure people are thinking this point is all too obvious. It’s not though. It should be. But it isn’t.
Relationships are extremely hard work. Marriage is extremely hard work. (And we wonder why I’ve been married twice..)
Coming from someone who has been through two divorces.
Two very painful and two totally different situations.
I was raised in a home where you work it out. You don’t get divorced. I’m not so sure on that point anymore. My vision is foggy from expirience on that subject. It’s like sex before marriage. Once you do it and realize how easy it is to do…it happens multiple times and such..
I’m being completely real here. I’m being raw and honest with my followers.
I’m here to put the things I’ve been through out there in hopes that maybe, just maybe I am making someone feel like they aren’t alone in their struggles.
I’m human. I’ve messed up time and dang time again. I will continue to mess up and I will continue to build my story. I will continue to share my story despite what some may think of me. I will take the chance and share what I have to say.
I’ve said this and I will say it again. I’ve been judged in the past and I will get judged and continue to be judged by people. If you don’t like what I share in my blog…don’t read it. Simple as that.
I’ve made some mistakes to get where I am. But where I am is in happiness. So, I guess in the end everything that led up to this point was worth the troubles.
Sure, some things that I’ve learned I wish I had known before I made some of the mistakes in my life. But, like the old saying says, “It is what it is.”
What you can do in life is learn from your mistakes and move on. You pack up, pick up, and move right on along.
That’s the best you can do.
Man, I honestly wasn’t sure where I was going with this post. It took an odd turn. Relationships aren’t something I often give much advice over. All I can share is stuff I have personally experienced. Which isn’t the greatest in life. But, I know the mistakes I have made. And I can share them so others can learn from me as well. Use me as an example or something.
I’m going to stop going on and on now.
Thanks for reading today’s ramblings,