Did she really?

  
I had an interesting run in with many people via Facebook last night.

Last night I found the “other” folder on my Facebook messenger. You know, the one where it puts messages from people you don’t know or don’t have any mutual friends with.

Well, there were some extremely interesting messages that were tucked away in there. Some I wish I had seen earlier. Some I feel so protected over by not seeing them when they were sent.

There was an ex girlfriend of my ex husband,another ex of a previous ex of mine(that is so confusing I know), some random guy telling me that my was boyfriend was screwing his girlfriend and went to go on ranting for message after message, and a few random people who wrote me about my current situation(random account created by one person trying to look like someone else), some just plain random people saying hey, and someone telling me they follow me on Instagram and I’m incredibly inspirational with my weight loss and fitness journey.

Crazy right?

It made me stop and think as I replied to a few of these people this morning. I was just thinking about the different stages in life and how things can drastically change in just a few short years. These people who I didn’t exactly like when they wrote me…I was able to hold a few conversations with a few of them this morning. I was thinking about when I knew these people back then…I was a completely different person.

I’ve been constantly changing and learning through so many different experiences. My life has been anything but boring. I’ve shared a short version of my story with you all and I’m sure in just the few words I wrote about it I had a few gaping mouths.

This blog post is another to the younger generation.

Relationships.

NOW! I’m pretty much the LAST person who should be giving any kind of relationship advice. But, I’ve been in enough(too many) to know what’s up out there in the real world.

Dating is fun right? Crushes are fun right? 

Right! They are so fun!

But honestly I don’t want to talk about dating or crushes or any of the lovey dicey ewwie gewwie stuff.

I’ve been through not one but TWO failed marriages.

Some of you are probably like NEXT BLOG POST PLEASE. Or this girl is crazy pants! Or why in the world would anyone take relationship advice from you?! 

Well, I’ve been there. I’ve been there numerous times and failed.

The one conclusion I have come to… The very one thing I needed to change.

•Do not..I repeat…do not put your happiness in someone else.

This puts the relationship on a fast track to failure real quick.

Some of you are probably like yeah okay…but they make me happy? 

Great. I’m extremely glad they make you happy. But, what I am saying is… Do not let them be the only thing that makes you happy. Do not in trust your happiness in them alone.

You have to be okay without this person. You have to be able to function when they aren’t around. You just do.

Another important point…

Which to most normal people this is a real easy one. But let me tell you…it is easy to say…but to act on I have failed. 

•Stay faithful

For your dang self and for those surrounding you. Just do it. 

Again, more head shaking I’m sure. I’m sure people are thinking this point is all too obvious. It’s not though. It should be. But it isn’t. 

Relationships are extremely hard work. Marriage is extremely hard work. (And we wonder why I’ve been married twice..)

Coming from someone who has been through two divorces.

Two very painful and two totally different situations. 

I was raised in a home where you work it out. You don’t get divorced. I’m not so sure on that point anymore. My vision is foggy from expirience on that subject. It’s like sex before marriage. Once you do it and realize how easy it is to do…it happens multiple times and such..

I’m being completely real here. I’m being raw and honest with my followers. 

I’m here to put the things I’ve been through out there in hopes that maybe, just maybe I am making someone feel like they aren’t alone in their struggles. 

I’m human. I’ve messed up time and dang time again. I will continue to mess up and I will continue to build my story. I will continue to share my story despite what some may think of me. I will take the chance and share what I have to say. 

I’ve said this and I will say it again. I’ve been judged in the past and I will get judged and continue to be judged by people. If you don’t like what I share in my blog…don’t read it. Simple as that. 
I’ve made some mistakes to get where I am. But where I am is in happiness. So, I guess in the end everything that led up to this point was worth the troubles. 
Sure, some things that I’ve learned I wish I had known before I made some of the mistakes in my life. But, like the old saying says, “It is what it is.”

What you can do in life is learn from your mistakes and move on. You pack up, pick up, and move right on along.

That’s the best you can do.

Man, I honestly wasn’t sure where I was going with this post. It took an odd turn. Relationships aren’t something I often give much advice over. All I can share is stuff I have personally experienced. Which isn’t the greatest in life. But, I know the mistakes I have made. And I can share them so others can learn from me as well. Use me as an example or something. 

I’m going to stop going on and on now.

Thanks for reading today’s ramblings,

Lex 

Finding joy in the midst of chaos..

  
Finding joy in the least likely of situations…
Finding joy in the least likely situations is something that has made my life completely turn around.

I’m experiencing the worst time of my life. Yet, at the same time it is the happiest I have ever been in my whole life(besides the day my princess was born of course).

As rocky as the road has been lately. It has been a learning adventure on so many levels.

For those of you who are just now joining my party and you haven’t read any of my previous blog posts…here is what I am talking about.

Life for me hasn’t been normal by the formal use of the word. Nothing about me or my life is anywhere near normal. Or even close at that matter.

I did things backwards and then forwards and then all jumbled up and screwed up. I put the phrase “I’m only human” to a whole new level.

Recap:

(I feel like a reality tv series….”previously on life with Lexie” ha!)

I got pregnant at the age of 17. Married my daughters father. Married for almost 4 years. Divorced. For reasons I’m not comfortable sharing on my blog…maybe one day. I got re married. Wasn’t married a year. I did some things that I’m not proud of. Marriage number dos ends. Currently in a jumbled mess of crazy and amazing.

There is your recap.

I will, one day, share the full story of everything. Maybe when it isn’t so fresh. Stay tuned on that one.

I have lost lots of important people or pushed them away. Things aren’t the same with some. Some choose not to talk to me anymore. And some fully have my back and don’t agree with what I did but still love me and help guide me and hold me up anyways.

Finding myself through this situation has been wonderful. Finding true joy is wonderful as well. Feeling completely at peace in a situation that most(even the old me) would of fallen completely apart in. 

Having peace when the world is crashing down around you takes time. It takes a mind set that is set apart. Even with my depression and anxiety I am still getting through.

On days where it seems impossible to get through you must remind yourself you’re still here. You’re still alive and everything is and will be okay. It helps when you have those around you encouraging you and reminding you of how blessed you are to still be alive, breathing, and a roof over your head. 

I know I blog about this subject a ton. But, I’m extremely passionate about letting people know that no matter your situation that it is okay to be positive. It’s okay to love your life despite the mistakes you make and such. It’s okay. I promise.

On a complete other note…the flowers pictures above were given to me by my momma. Though things may be rough right now, I know everything will be okay. I know it. My mom is one of the best ladies I know on this earth. I’m thankful for the things she shares with me. These flowers mean a lot. And they will be dear to me of course. They will show me that even through the winter they will stay alive. They will survive the cold even though they don’t care for it much. Like the flowers we will survive the “winter” of our lives. The cold months. The months that may hurt. But we have it.

Plus, these little guys don’t need a whole lot of lovin when it comes to watering and such. Perfect for someone who is terrible at keeping indoor plants alive. 

They are fun and apparently they grow and expand extremely fast as well. Sweet! 

If you’ve made a mistake…high five. You’re human. Welcome to the world of being human. I’ve learned lately that it’s okay to love yourself and be loved even when you’ve screwed up in some very big ways.

I have a lot working against me currently in life. But, I’m just going to keep my head up and keep finding myself along the way. My eyes have been opened to what’s truly important lately.

Just let life take you on its ride. When you learn a lot about yourself it’s so completely worth it. And when you have those who truly care by your side nothing can stop you. You were meant for more than you think. Trust me. Keep joy close. Keep peace close. Keep a peaceful heart and mind in the midst of an extremely violent world. 

Alright, I’m done rambling now.

Thanks for reading,

Lex