Let’s Talk Body-Postpatum

Hey y’all! 
Let’s talk body again! This time, I want to speak on postpartum.
I am 5 days Postpartum. 

(9 months pregnant, 1 day postpartum, 5 days postpartum) 
As most of you know I have stayed fit through my pregnancy. One of my big goals was to workout until my due date just as long as baby was happy and healthy.
I had to modify things towards the end of course..but I was pretty dang proud of myself for continuing my workout routine.
I must admit. Towards the end I packed on the weight. It was extremely discouraging to me because I was working out pretty hard and getting in workouts 4-5 times a week. I wasn’t eating terrible and the lbs were just packing on quickly. 
The last few months I felt as if I was working out for nothing. I felt the weight was coming on uncontrollably and the hard work I was putting in was for nothing. 
Let me tell you that all that hard work I put in was not for nothing. 
The nurses were so impressed with how fast my body was healing itself. They were impressed at how fast everything was going back to normal. My body was use to working hard and it was prepared to put everything back to the way it was before I was pregnant. 
I haven’t stepped on a scale since I gave birth. And honestly I don’t think I want to until my 6 week appointment. I have however taken progress pictures to see how quickly my body has gone down. It’s amazing to me to watch it day by day. 
My body has amazed me. And as discouraged as I felt those last few months…I see now that it was not for nothing. It kept me and my baby healthy and I am so thankful for that.
I am impressed at what the female body goes through during pregnancy and then during labor and child birth. It is mind blowing. My body grew a human and my body birthed that human. It went through so much trauma and it bounces back in a way that I couldn’t be more grateful for. 
I felt amazing right after birth. I felt strong and empowered and though my body was worn out and tired…it was strong from all the workouts I put in during those 9 months. 

I understand that it took 9 months of stretching and weight gain to grow that precious baby and it will take a while for my body to heal and be back to normal. But I am so thankful for the healing it has already done in these last 5 days. 
It has helped me have a whole new respect for my body. 
It can be discouraging after you have a baby to look in the mirror and no longer recognize the person staring back at you. I get that. I truly do. But remember the amazing process your body just endured. It stretched to no end and it took on growing a BABY. Your body has worked hard 24/7 the last 9 months. And that in itself is impressive. 
Respect yourself and take pride in what your body just accomplished. Because it’s amazing. So totally completely amazing. 
So, if you are pregnant and fit and are feeling like your workouts mean nothing…don’t be discouraged because it DOES mean something. Your body and baby will thank you for it one day. Even if your not active or fit during pregnancy…don’t get discouraged…your body is working hard. So very hard. Keep that in mind.
Stay determined and trust the process.
Thanks for reading,

Lex 

Frustrations

Where do I even begin with this one?
So many emotions are filled up inside me right now. Why? Well, it could be that I’m 40 weeks and 2 days pregnant and Caroline is still wiggling around inside my belly…with no end in sight.
I know, I know. Just because 40 weeks has come and passed doesn’t mean a thing.
To me however, it does. 
The frustration here is my anxiety. I got so anxious and counted down weekly to my due date. I marked off days and weeks and was so excited for that one day, January 19th. 
I mean come on..my first daughter came ON her due date. So this little one must be coming on or around hers too right? Wrong. Maybe in a perfect world in some other universe. 
I’m learning something as each day goes by. I am learning I am no longer terrified of birthing this baby. The fear is gone. I am actually more motivated to get it done and over with. I’m more motivated to push through. I’m extremely determined.
I’m so ready to see her. I however don’t want to rush Gods time or hers. I totally understand she will come when she is ready. I know this. 
I have accepted my body understands what to do. It has done this before. It knows how to go into labor naturally. I trust it will.
I had my 40 week doctors appointment this past Thursday. I didn’t see my normal midwives. I saw a doctor. She was lovely and so full of life. If I had any doctor birth my daughter I think I would want it to be here. She herself being 34 weeks pregnant. She gets it. Anyways, she offered to schedule me to be induced. For Monday or Tuesday. 
It was so tempting. I mean, how awesome would it be to be able to know when she was coming. To have an actual end in sight. A goal day to count down to. I could shower and do my hair and make up before I went in. I could dress cute and feel fabulous entering the hospital. Then…I stopped. Being induced meant an IV. Being induced meant putting medicine inside of my body to force my body into labor. What if Monday or Tuesday my body wasn’t ready for that yet? Getting induced would be against my whole goal of going naturally. 
Now look. I’m not saying inducing is bad. I’m not saying if my baby were in danger I wouldn’t induce. I’m saying as long as baby and mom are both happy and healthy. I’m baking this baby until my body and baby are ready to come without the help of modern day medicine. 
As tempting as it sounded I am so glad I stopped and took my goals into consideration. I’m glad I didn’t jump the gun and go for it. 
I want her here of course. She is worth the wait. 
I will continue to count down the days. Or count up the days at this point. To when she comes. 
I am strong and determined and will stick by my goals. As frustrating as waiting around is. 
Due dates are full of crap. They mean nothing. And my next pregnancy I will be keeping this little fact in my mind from the day they tell me my due date. Babies will come when babies are ready. And they don’t care or know what that date on the calendar means. 
So any other mommies out there who are past their due date. Hold tight. Relax. Your body and your baby know exactly what to do. 
Thanks for reading,

Lex 

Five days.

Five days. 

This is how many days we have left until our due date.
Five more days of waiting.
I personally don’t like having a due date. I guess that’s the anxious side of me speaking. I kind of wish my midwives would say “you’re due around the middle to end of January.” I know having a “due date” is import to make sure you don’t go past a certain week for health reasons. I just know that my poor nerves are becoming shot.
As you all know I’ll be walking down the road of labor and delivery naturally. I would love to sit here and say I have fully prepared myself. That I have read all the books and taken all of the classes. 
Honestly, I haven’t done either. In fact, I didn’t even finish reading the Bradley method book I started. I got close…but didn’t quite finish it. I was so stressed about reading and re reading every single word in the book that I forgot my body was designed for this.
I do feel you need to be prepared of course for a med free and natural birth. However, I feel I got what I needed to be prepared. Or as prepared as one can be for this sort of thing.
In the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about birth a lot since it is right around the corner. I’ve been reading birth stories and learning more about different situations during birth.
I’ve become more educated with my own body and exactly how it works(females are amazing y’all). 
I’ve been terrified. I am not going to lie. The “what if’s” have been flying through the air and I have been grabbing them and shoving them into my head. 
I feel so close to labor my mind has been pressuring my body. Like come on let’s do something. Let’s make a move. Let’s do this. 
I’ve even been saying Caroline just isn’t ready. The truth is, Caroline is ready. Her organs are developed, she has run out of room, she practices her breathing(which is one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen), and she has packed on that baby fat. My body is however not ready. If it were, it would be in labor right now.
Being patient and waiting on my body is the hardest part right now. My body isn’t surprised by this pregnancy. My body was designed for this moment and every moment in pregnancy. It knows what it’s doing(thank goodness because I don’t!). 
Not only is my body not surprised but neither is God. He knows exactly when Carolines birthday is, what she looks like, and how much hair she is going to have. He knows how long my labor will last and exactly how my birth story will go. 
I will rest in that.
And as I slowly mark off another day off the calendar as a day that isn’t Carolines birthday…I will hold onto the fact that I need not worry. Everything will be fine. 
As terrifying as the whole thing can be. I know that I can do this. I may not have read all the books and I may not have stepped foot in a birthing class…but that’s okay. I know this is going to be very uncomfortable. I know this is going to be pain with a purpose. I know contractions come and contractions go. 
The end goal…the baby. She is worth it. And that is what I hold onto. Holding my baby. One step closer to holding our baby. One more step closer to Allie meeting her sister who she has longed to meet for 9 long months. For getting Matt’s first blood baby here so he can love and adore her. One more step closer to grandparents meeting their grand baby. For her aunts getting to hold her in their arms. 
This is all in my mind. And will continue to be. I have a lot of people counting on me to get this baby here. And I will do just that. 
Thanks for reading,

Lex 

Goals, goals, goals, baby, baby, baby.

Hey y’all! And happy new year to everyone! 
I hope everyone had an awesome time ringing in the new year. I actually forgot it was New Year’s Eve and barely made it to 10 o clock. Oopsies! 
I am 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow and feeling every single one of those 38 weeks! With the end of this pregnancy nearing I have put into perspective some of my goals for this year. Mostly running related goals. 
I’ve decided I am not going to focus solely on losing this baby weight. I have decided to focus on the miles I run and walk this year and put more energy into eating better foods.
I sat down the other night and went over goals for my marathon training. I think it has been long enough since my last that I have forgotten the feeling of my legs falling off after I was done. Ha! Now that I’ve blocked that out…it’s time to plan for my second! 
I am planning on starting my training in the spring. The program I’m doing is a very long and take your time kind of program. Something I am going to need after pushing out a tiny human. I needed one that was going to help me to get back into running after 10 weeks of no running miles. 
So I picked Hal Higdons 30 week program. I will start in the spring and it should put me to being prepared for my marathon by the fall. I’m excited to take this journey again and this time I will be documenting my running journey.
I’ll be documenting what it is like being a mom to a newborn as well as training with my newborn as well. I know adding a new born into my marathon training mix will be a little bit tricky. But I am totally prepared and ready to take on this challenge. I have a ton of people supporting me(including my amazing husband who now runs with me). 
I plan to run numerous 5k’s, 10k’s, a half marathon, and then my full. On top of all that I will be joining in on the Under Armor You vs the year challenge. It is to run 1017km in 2017. It’s going to be tricky to reach that number since I will be starting after I heal from baby. But I will try my best!
I plan to fit into my old clothes again(who knows when that will happen) and I do plan on getting the baby weight off(again, who knows when that will happen).
I’m rolling with the punches here. I have my goals laid out and I really can’t wait to reach them! 
But first, lets have a baby! 
I can’t wait to update you all on my birthing experience and I can’t wait to share the news that our baby is welcomed into the world! A few more weeks till Dday!
Now, enough of this long post where I rambled on about my running goals. Hehe.
Thanks for reading,

Lex

Share this:

One month and one week. We are one month and one week away from Dday. 
You could come before or you could come after. 
As much as I’m going to miss the sweet kicks inside my tummy…I am so ready to meet you. We all are. We of course are patiently waiting for January to get here. Because we don’t want you to come too early! Keep on baking baby girl.
I feel I have so much left to do before you get here. Lists on lists of things to do before you’re here and some things left to buy. 
I think about packing our hospital bags daily. I haven’t yet though. I am almost nervous to. It will make it even more real. 
I am nervous. I am nervous to have two children to care for now. I am nervous to have two children to pack for on vacations. I am nervous to give birth. I am nervous to spend time inside of a hospital. I am nervous that we won’t have enough diapers, wipes, and other things. 

So many nerves. But for every nerve there is a million more feelings of excitement. I know all these nerves will fade right when we see your precious face. 
That precious face. Those perfect eyes. That perfect nose. Your cute little lips. I can’t wait. I can’t wait to see who you look like and see your own cute little traits. 
My pregnancy has been extremely easy. It has been great so far. 9 months is a long time. It can become exhausting. It IS exhausting. Growing a tiny human is tiring. Your body is constantly working 24/7. It never stops, ever. And then once the baby is born is still works to produce food for your precious baby. Our bodies are seriously amazing. Women are amazing. And I’m so proud and thankful to be pregnant and to be experiencing it all. 
I think sometimes we take it for granted. I find myself complaining at times I want my body back. I want the weight off. I want to run again. I want to workout harder. I want to feel myself again. I complain about little sleep. I complain about my clothes not fitting. I complain about the things I can and can’t eat. 

But then…I stop and think that all of those things are so silly. 9 months may seem like a long time…but compared to a lifetime it is a blink of an eye. It’s a precious time. And though at times I sit and complain and feel those rush of hormones hit me…it’s simply amazing to be pregnant. It’s something no one should take for granted. It’s one of life’s most amazing blessings. It’s something not everyone gets to experience. And that breaks my heart. 
It’s like I say with my running…when running gets frustrating I think about those who want to but aren’t able. Same with pregnancy. When it gets hard and frustrating I think of those who want it but can’t. And I appreciate it and become more grateful than I was before.
I know this post is somewhat random. But I just decided to get some words out today. And of course I wanted to add some of the wonderful maternity pictures we had taken this past weekend. Photo credit goes to http://www.jenretteromberg.com
She is so very talented and so fun to shoot with! Not to mention her photos are beautiful. 

Thanks for reading,

Lex 

I have MOVED!

Hello dear readers!

I have some pretty grand and exciting news! I have moved to a new domain! I have a host now and I am moving on up! (ha ha).

My new website is lifeaslex.org (Link at bottom of page)

Please go over to it and follow my new blog and check out my very first post on it!

I am very excited to announce this news. I am so sad however to announce that I wasn’t able to export all of my information and what not. So, I will have to start over new. Check it out!

I can’t wait to see what the future holds!

http://Lifeaslex.org

Thanks for reading,

Lex

Into the depths we go..

  
As the media coverage of Lamar Odom becomes older and older news with each passing day../I wanted to bring it back in the spot light.

Not nessasarly Mr. Odom himself, but his sickness.

You see, Mr. Odom is an addict. He has issues. Clearly. 

But, don’t we all? 

Are any of us perfect? No.

Anyways, the situation with Lamar made me personally think. It hit me harder than most celeb news. In fact, half the time I don’t really pay attention to the happenings of the rich and famous. I just don’t care to pay attention much to them.

This though, this hit me. It showed me again that these people are human and have real life problems. It reminded me that money doesn’t fix mental or personal issues. In fact, it may even cause more. 

I sit and think at times how nice it must be to make so much money. Then again no matter how much you make…us as humans tend to live life styles beyond our means. No matter how much we make. We tend to always want more.

On another note. Addiction.

How sad the whole situation was to me. I payed attention to it because I feel for anyone who suffers with mental issues and drug issues. Rich or poor. It doesn’t matter. An issue is an issue. And I know how torturing a mental illness is and how it taunts you from the inside out.

I saw so many people making jokes and laughing. Why? A few people I saw saying “when you have that much money and that much talent why would you do that?”

Well, it’s easy to ask why when we aren’t in someone’s shoes. We don’t know what’s going on inside his head or even in his personal life. Look, rich people struggle too. Poor people struggle. Middle class struggles. We all struggle. We are all human. No matter your race or even how much money and talent you have.

Sure, it’s easy for us people who aren’t that talented making millions to sit back and point fingers and say “if I had that money and talent I would never do that.”. But, we aren’t there. We aren’t him. We aren’t her. We aren’t them.

Are you perfect? No? Okay, then it really isn’t your place to judge. In fact, it’s not any of our place to judge. Until we have all lived in one another’s shoes…we have no right to judge anyone.

You never know the struggle of someone else’s heart. 

You never know the pain or even the happiness.

You don’t know.

I am very sensitive to judgement. I mean, who actually likes to be judged? 

I want to be cautious more often on this. 

I wanted to wait until it all died down a little more before creating and posting this post.

With some of my posts my intent is to stir the pot a little bit. To cause people to think in the moment of the happenings. But, with this one I didn’t really want to do that.

I wanted to give it time to cool off a bit. Let people clear their minds a bit. 

I was rather flustered at the fact of people making fun of the situation. I actually wrote a whole different blog post the day that everything happened. I was upset and angry with those who were making fun of Lamar.  Not that I am defending him or what he has done. Because I am not. At all. But, I am respecting the fact that he is human despite being rich and famous. 

I have issues as well. I have some mental issues…depression and anxiety. Big time. There are times where my brain goes to some crazy places. It goes and wonders. So, I get the going crazy inside part. I don’t understand the addiction to drugs because I have never tried drugs. That has always been something that is extremely easy for me to say no to. But, I also know depression, anxiety and other worldly issues can push humans to points we don’t want to be and don’t know how we got there in the first place or how anyone can get to those places. 

Those aren’t excuses. They are real and true. It happens. 

I try to remind myself often that I am human, he is human, she is human, they are human. We as humans mess up in big ways sometimes. It’s life. We must learn from our mistakes and better ourself through them. If we don’t learn from them than we will never grow. 

So, here’s to being human. Here is to messing up(because we all will), here is to forgiveness, here is to growth and last but certainly not least, here is to loving.

  
Thanks for reading,

Lex 

Behind the mask..

Hello all and happy Halloween!

Since we are gearing up for a whole bunch of people running around pretending to be someone they aren’t…it sparked a post idea in my brain.

People pretending to be someone they aren’t. I figured on Halloween this topic would be appropriate.

Look, I’m so guilty of this.

I’ve pretending to be someone I’m not for a really long time. Mostly to please those around me. It’s not a constant pretending. It’s just hiding certain things to please this person and that person. Something you all have probably noticed about me from some of my posts is that I am a MAJOR people pleaser. If someone isn’t happy with me than it eats me up from the inside out. It isn’t a completely healthy way to be. At all.

I was too scared to show my mistakes and show my flaws. I’ve always been the type to cover my story up. Twist it, change it and even lie about it to make myself look better. When in reality lying and covering up the truth is anything but looking good. I have no idea why I was always so concerned about looking perfect.

When you make a mistake…don’t cover it up. Don’t hide it. Don’t sweep it under the rug and goodness, don’t pretend it didn’t happen. I can’t stress enough that we are all human. We all make mistakes. I can guarantee that the mistake you just made…someone else has made it too.

Feeling alone is one of the worst feelings on the earth in my opinion…and when we mess up we feel like we are alone in our mess ups. Like we are the only person on planet earth to make this one mistake. I can promise you that you are not alone. The more you open up and are honest to people about your mistakes…the more you find out just how NOT alone you really are.

I was the PRO at covering up my mistakes or just putting them in the past and forgetting about them all together.

I was basically trying to be perfect for everyone around me. I was way too concerned about what those around me would think about me if they knew things I’d done in the past.

I’ve been through a lot in the short years of my life. There is no doubt about that. More than anyone would ever want to go through or experience. But! Just because someone might not agree or like what I’ve done…and I may even lose people along the road…but owning my story is something I’m slowly but surely learning how to do. Because, it is okay to share with others your mistakes…maybe they can learn from them and take away something that will help them to not make the mistakes you made. Sharing your true self could help someone. Try it.

I’m taking off the mask and stepping into the spotlight. I’m welcoming myself for who I am. I’m not going to be ashamed of who I am or what I’ve done. My past mistakes will not define who I am as a person.

And about losing people along the way…you are always going to lose people. If you hide yourself or not. You will always lose people along your path through life. It’s simply how it is. So, you should always be yourself.

Because as the saying goes, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

As children are ringing your doorbell tonight dressed as something they aren’t. Let that be a reminder to always be yourself. Except on Halloween. On Halloween always be something you aren’t.

Happy Halloween!!!

Thanks for reading,

Lex

When life goes left…not right

  
In life you don’t usually end up where you think you’ll be.

I know I’ve blogged on this topic before. But, I’m good at repeating myself at times. So, here goes.

I’m no where near where I thought I would be in life. When I was young i had no idea what I wanted to be when I “grew up”. As I got into high school I wanted to be a few different things. I went back and forth between a physical therapist or a magazine editor. 

I had big dreams of moving to New York City and interning at a magazine company. I had wanted to live in a high rise apartment that over looked the city. I wanted to be a career women. I didn’t want a family. I didn’t want kids. Maybe a boyfriend or something but nothing serious. I wanted to focus on myself and making a lot of money. I had an extremely selfish mindset. 

I also wanted to cheer in college. I wanted to be seen basically. I wanted the attention. As a lot of people do. 

This idea and dream didn’t change until I got pregnant. 

When I got pregnant I knew I wouldn’t be moving to New York. It slipped out of my fingers and died. I now had someone else besides myself to worry about. I knew there would be no magazine and there would be no high rise apartment over looking the city alone.

As I am writing this today I have relized I have turned my love for writing into something different. I am now a blogger. 

It’s so funny to me to look back and remember where I thought I would be. I was so set in my ways in high school and I just knew I was going to make it big time. I was going to make loads of money, drive a nice car, and make people know my name. It was going to sit on a magazine and people would know I did that.

These days though, that dream isn’t much of a dream anymore. I now have no care to live in a large city. In fact, I work right outside of Atlanta Georgia and I absolutely hate it. I hate the traffic and I can’t stand the amount of people that aren’t around me in a single day.

Don’t get me wrong. A trip to the city a few times a year is wonderful. I like having that option. But, I could never live in the heart of a large city. 

I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason.

As I have shared before I am a Christian. And I do believe in my God. 

I believe my path was directed elsewhere. I believe I honestly wouldn’t of been happy. I don’t think I knew what I truly wanted at that time. And I thank the Lord that I am where I am today.

I thought I didn’t want children till I was a lot older. Now, I am so thankful I have had one young. So thankful.

Be thankful for where you are in life. Blessing in disguise are truly the best. You may not see them at the time. But later, you will. You’ll see the blessings that you couldn’t exactly see at the time.

Enjoy life. If your dream didn’t come when you wanted it too. It’s okay. Keep hustling and keep working extremely hard to get that dream. If that is what you truly want.

I’m working hard…and I mean extremely hard to become a better and well rounded blogger. I want to be the best I can be and more importantly I want to impact people with my words. I want to use my words to guide and help people the best I can.

I want to write something that means something to someone. I want people to relate to me. I want people to not nessasarly agree with me, but like me well enough to respect my opinions as well as me respecting theirs.

I just want to make an impact. Don’t we all though?

My dream now has changed. It may be along the same lines. It has changed drastically. I am here to impact people with my blog. I am here to change people’s lives with my words. And little by little I will get there. Even if it’s just a few I impact along the way. That’s a victory to me.

Every victory counts. 

So, get out there and chase your dreams but also accept where you are in this crazy world. You’ll never be here again. Every second is passing. There is no time to be unhappy with your life. If you don’t like where you are, change something. Work hard and build a life you love. Work though the kinks and stay strong when the going gets tough.

Live it up. Live it out. 

Thanks so much for reading,

Lex l

Leg leg leggings!!!

  
Alright. There are have been a million articles and people dissing leggings as pants. 

Here is a point of view from a extremely athletic women… Aka me! 

Like my thighs make up 98% of my body weight. 

Jeans? Yeah, unless they are extreme stretch…they aren’t going over these thunder thighs. And if they do, they will probably rip. I’m just saying. 

So, what’s my go to PANTS when I need a savior of all the PANTS?

LEGGINGS!

They are stretchy and I don’t have to worry about thunder and lightening ripping them at their seams. 

Throw some pockets on those things and Jean colored material and you’ve got jeggings. Hands down the best invention on earth. 

In fact, I’m currently sitting here in my adorable oversized pink sweater with lace, brown boots, and *GASP!* my black leggings! And I wore them to work and rocked them.

Not to mention the things they do to my leg muscles is magic I swear. I mean, do they really look that good in real life?! Or is it the leggings? Either way I am rolling with it! They are what I feel most comfortable in. 

So, ladies, if there is a style you rock that a lot of the world thinks is ridiculous…keep rocking that ridiculous style you love and adore so much. 

Rock it. Flaunt it. Own it.

I know I will continue to rock my leggings with my oversized sweaters for many more fall/winters to come. 

And when I get those funny stares at my leggings…I may just swish my hips a little harder for you ladies! So, watch out world! Lexie is rocking the leggings! 

Sorry, I needed a lighter post. 

Thanks for reading,

Lex